The church, The South, and me, Changes in The Three

Just a few thoughts for today.

When I was very young, I hated the South. I was born and raised here in Mobile alabama and have lived here all my life. I was also raised, not by choice, Southern Baptist. The two were connected by a few common denominators; sweat, being hopelessly stuck in the past, appearances at any cost and class. You put on your very best clothes to go to church and you put on your very best face and manners to go in public. Manners, charm and etiquette were essential in church and in the social fabric. You didn't call anyone out, you smiled and shut up, shut down and sat down, especially women and especially in church.There was something always essentially wrong with this in my mind. So i decided to hate both, my place of birth and church.

Now i think my God/Goddess knows me very well. I didn't know at that early time I was who i am supposed to be. My head has always been rebellious and my heart restless and I just didn't fit. Oh, I know all the old hymms and I can use Southern charm with the best of anyone. But i have learned a few things over the years, and while I'm not calm and passive by a long shot even now, I have learned.

I have grown to love my home, the heat, the sweat, the slow-paced, lanquid life-style. I have learned that my God/Goddess is not in the church dogma I was raised in. Not for me. And that's ok. I've learned everyone has their own purpose and learning curve and while I don't agree with the pulpit-thumpers, I can leave them to their devices while I find my own. It's more important for me to change on the inside than to shake my fist at the heavens at the pale, snarly preachers on the outside.

I have finally learned that the best way for me to change things is to live what i believe. To put into action what I think my deity wants me to do. Some of which is to try and see boths sides of any situation now, to support and embrace my GLBTQ brothers and sisters, to fight for women's rights, to support the homeless advocates, to stand with Occupy and to be WHO I am, 24 hours a day, HERE, where the change is needed. What other people think of my actions is not my business.

A group I have been following for a while has had some growing pains the past few weeks, the Outlaw Preachers. I have mentioned them before, but i have been thinking of the group as a whole the past few days. I love their common thread of love, grace and "letting" one believe in the way that person needs. There's been some power struggles but i do hope and pray this passes and that the human tendency to control passes and the group returns to what drew me to them in the first place. I have met some wonderful people thru this group and have learned much.

I am not at battle with my homeland as much anymore either. yes, there are still awful situations in this society and yes, discrimination still runs deep and stereotypes us. but I have hope now of change, just as with the religious structure. People have started to find their own voices here, the Occupy Movement is small but loud and it DOES exist in several pockets in Alabama. Our gay community is much more vocal and represented, our kids are more vocal in bringing their sexuality and issues to the fore-front, people have started to TALK and talk TO each other, not AT each other. Yes, there is still a long journey but i have hope now. Diversity has finally arrived under the old oaks and trailing moss, political change is discussed on the beaches and the quiet seafood eaterys. Fear of change has lost it's strangle-hold and charm isn't the first priority.

No, Mobile hasn't taken on Utopian qualities, but i can live here now and know I can be involved with the change. When I can actually put my painting of a crucified nude woman on a cross in the city-wide ArtWalk and it be admired or discussed instead of censored, I know change is here. Mobile and religion are changing, and I'm glad.